I struggled deciding on a title for this blog without it sounding weird, but sex as a parent IS weird so whatever. Lots of things change when you become a parent including your relationship with your spouse. Things get more challenging. There are more decisions to be made and errands to be run. Having the time or energy to have sex seems to be last on the list of priorities.
But it shouldn’t be.
My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have been doing the di-biddy-doo-dah for… well…more than that, and we have decided that while our children may have taken our sleep and sanity THEY WILL NOT take our sex. It has become a game. A challenge.
Yes, sometimes we are dead tired after we wrestle the kids to their rooms at bedtime. We sit down and exhaustedly look at each other.
“I love you.”, “I love you too.”, “Do you want to….?”, “Yeah, I’m about 50/50.” “Me too.” “But, I could rally.” And rally it is. And it is ALWAYS a good decision.
But then there are the days when we chose sleep the night before and we look at each other in the middle of the day.
“Here kids, watch a movie!” “Help yourself to snacks in the pantry!” “Mommy and Daddy will be right back.” “DON’T come upstairs!” And we RUN.
But they always DO come upstairs and that’s when things get hilarious. Goodbye days of steamy passion. Hello days of stealthy pursuit.
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. “What is it?!” (In unison)
“I need to tell you something.”, “What??”,” I need to come in your room to tell you.” , “NOPE. GO DOWNSTAIRS.” “But I…”, “GO!”
Where were we? Oh yeah. We’re doing this! They will not take away our…
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK. “GO DOWNSTAIRS!!!!”, “But how do you spell “sloth”? “BAHAHAHAHA!” (In unison) My husband, “S-L-O…” Me, “Are you kidding?!” (I almost laughed him out of me.)
It used to bother me to think that my kids were awake and in the house when we were having sex. It would derail my concentration, but then I realized that I’m just gonna have to power through it. Cause they ain’t going anywhere for 18 years and Mommy and Daddy have to handle our business. So it’s a challenge. But we are winning. Quietly. With the occasional exclamation, “STOP FIGHTING!” or “JUST PUT A BAND AID ON IT!” or “WATCH PEPPA PIG!” or “GOOGLE IT!”.
Never giving up.
So yes, things change when you become a parent. Passion turns into Powering Through sometimes, but it is worth it. Different. But a whole new world of interesting. Don’t let your kids take away the reason you wanted to put-a-ring-on-it in the first place. Do it. Often. How often? Well that depends on the couple, but I think somewhere between 1 and 50 times a week is “normal”. teehee. Hopefully you both agree upon the number. Regardless… DO IT.
Rally Mommas and Poppas! If only for the laughs.